


life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

by blowthepiri



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, F/F, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:20:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28783347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blowthepiri/pseuds/blowthepiri
Summary: She doesn’t ever want to get up, wants to stay like this, locked away forever with just Yoohyeon.She tenses up at the thought.Yoohyeon lets her go.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Yubin | Dami, Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Yubin | Dami, background Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Siyeon
Comments: 12
Kudos: 57





	life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

**Author's Note:**

> this... got out of hand. i hope you enjoy! 
> 
> heed the warnings, please. there is sex. there is body image issues. if you squint there's some internal lesbophobia. there's some anxiety and depression. this is pretty angsty.

If Yubin is being perfectly honest with herself, she can’t think of a single day where she wasn’t in love with her best friend. 

* * *

“I can’t believe we’re going to graduate soon,” Yoohyeon says, excitedly. She’s usually very jubilated and this is no exception. Yubin looks on fondly, not responding, as Yoohyeon continues, “and we get to go to the U.S. to study…” 

Yubin plasters on a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. Originally, Yubin was going to stay in South Korea to study. She told Yoohyeon she’d go with her to the States only if she didn’t get into the schools she chose here. But she got into all of them, and, well. Yoohyeon was so elated when Yubin told her she got into the same school as her, so Yubin didn’t bother to tell her that she got into the schools here, too. 

“Yeah,” Yubin says, instead, not wanting to dim Yoohyeon’s bright smile. “Time really flew. I can’t believe we’re going to be out of here within the next year.”

Yoohyeon’s grinning wide. “We get to be roommates in a beautiful American city,” she squeals. “I never really take time to think about it because I’m so nervous, but we’re graduating so soon, we probably  _ should  _ talk about it.” 

Yubin looks at Yoohyeon for a moment without saying anything.

“We’re going to be  _ roommates _ ,” Yoohyeon says again, louder and more excited this time. “God, I’ve been dreaming of living with you in our tiny little apartment.” Yubin isn’t sure why Yoohyeon would dream of such a thing, but she doesn’t question it. She supposes it’s common for every girl to dream about living with her best friend in the future. She isn’t even sure how they’re going to decorate, since their styles are very different but Yubin will cross that bridge when the time comes. “Should we get a dog?” 

“No,” Yubin answers automatically, which makes Yoohyeon laugh. 

“Fine, no dog,” Yoohyeon says with a pout. “I don't think we'd be allowed one in the dorms near the school anyway.”

“We'd be too busy to take care of a dog.”

Yoohyeon rolls her eyes, playfully. “Always trying to shut down my romantic ideas with your realism,” she jokes.

And Yubin knows Yoohyeon is joking but she can't help but take comments like this to heart, and she feels her mood drop exponentially. She's almost relieved when her mom knocks on the door, says, “Yoohyeon, your sister is outside for you.”

Yoohyeon wrinkles her nose. “Thank you, Mrs. Lee.” She hops off of Yubin’s bed and grabs her bag and her uniform shoes. “I'll see you at school.”

“Say hi to Minji for me,” Yubin says, but it feels hollow. 

* * *

They’re going into the final stretch of their final year. Exams are approaching, they have final projects, and Yubin is both relieved to almost be done and terrified that she’s going to be thrust out into the real world with no safety net. 

She’s staring at herself in the mirror in her school uniform, noticing a little patch of fat on her lower tummy that wasn’t there before. She pinches on it, biting her bottom lip into her mouth. She’s been so busy after her acceptance and with school that she hasn’t made time to exercise or go running. She’ll have to start up again and cut back on the snacking, maybe even only going back onto her  _ one meal a day _ plan. 

(Now, this, this is something Yubin focuses on when she feels out of control. She focuses on something she  _ can  _ control. And she does control it. Until she doesn’t.) 

“Yubinnie, come down now! Yoohyeon is here!” her mom yells up to her, startling Yubin. 

She grabs her backpack and her sweater, which she ties around her waist, walking down the stairs to see Yoohyeon standing there in her tall, beautiful, gorgeous glory. 

“Hi,” she says, smiling up at her.

Yoohyeon looks at her fondly. “Not like you to be late,” Yoohyeon says, grabbing Yubin by the hand and lacing their fingers together. She leads her to the door. “Good morning, Mrs. Lee!” 

“Good morning, Yoohyeon. Bye, Binnie!” 

As they begin the short walk to their school, Yoohyeon asks, “why are you wearing a sweater around your waist? It’s warm out today, I doubt you’ll need it.” 

“Ah, you know I get cold easily,” Yubin lies, rather smoothly. “The school is always cold when it starts to get hot outside. Would rather be safe than sorry.”

Yoohyeon doesn’t say anything, and they walk in a peaceful, blissful silence, and it’s then that Yubin realizes that they’re still holding hands. Have been holding hands all the way from their house, and they’re right in front of the school. 

Yubin feels Yoohyeon give her hand a squeeze, and then she’s gone, running up to her other group of friends and giving them all hugs and kisses on the cheek. And Yubin’s not jealous, she doesn’t really see the point in it because who in their right mind  _ wouldn’t _ want to be friends with Yoohyeon? But, she does feel the disappointment sit and settle in her chest whenever she sees how much better Yoohyeon blends in with them. They’re all tall and beautiful and thin, the poster children for conventionality, and Yubin isn’t. 

The day blurs by, with Yubin’s classes all but a blip in her radar. She’s relieved when it’s lunch time, and she can escape to the library or the cafeteria and read a book instead of listening to her teachers drone on about university and graduation. 

She’s just sitting down at a corner table in the cafeteria when she hears, “Hey!” She looks up to see Jiyeon, or Jane depending on who you ask, coming toward her. “Can I sit?” 

Yubin nods and goes back to her book. She and Jiyeon are friendly, the only one out of Yoohyeon’s other friend group that doesn’t look at Yubin like she’s from an alien planet or likely question why on Earth Yoohyeon associates with her. Yubin likes Jiyeon, she thinks. Might be the only person from this school she’ll miss once she’s gone. 

“So, you and Yoohyeon are going to the States together, huh? Are you excited?” 

Yubin sighs and puts her bookmark between the pages and closes her book. “I’m excited,” she says, carefully. “Yoohyeon is over the moon, though.” 

“It’s all she’s been talking about for the past couple of weeks. Since you both got your acceptance letters,” Jiyeon says. “All the other girls are annoyed with it, but I think it’s sweet.” If it were anyone else, Yubin would question if this was genuine but Jiyeon  _ is. _

Yubin has to stop herself from smiling stupidly. 

Jiyeon and her make small talk and joking around about the teachers, laughing and carefree, until Yoohyeon comes, sits on Yubin’s side of the table and wraps an arm around her shoulder. “Hey, what's going on?” 

Yubin and Jiyeon are still laughing. 

“Sorry, Jiyeon just said something funny,” Yubin says, patting Yoohyeon's hand awkwardly. She's not usually touchy but Yubin supposes it's alright.

Yoohyeon looks a bit upset but Yubin watches her wipe it away. 

“Aren't you going to eat?” Yoohyeon asks. 

Yubin grits her teeth and tries not to look irritated at the question. “No, I'm not hungry,” she answers, ignoring the way Jiyeon watches the exchange. “If you two want to eat together, I can go to the library…”

“Don't be silly,” Yoohyeon says. There's a little bit of an awkward silence until, “I didn't know you two were friends.” 

“Oh, we had a class together last year and just became casual in-school friends,” Jiyeon says diplomatically, because Yoohyeon gets pretty jealous whenever Yubin has friends that aren't her. (Which, in retrospect, is likely not a good thing but Yubin doesn't mind.) 

Yoohyeon nods, flips over the cover of Yubin’s book to read the back. “Can I borrow this when you're done?”

“Will you actually give it back this time?”

Yoohyeon chuckles. “I mean, we’re going to be sharing an apartment so I'm pretty sure you can just knock on my bedroom door and ask for it back.”

Yubin laughs, ignoring the way Jiyeon is studying them. This is making her uncomfortable. She slides herself out of Yoohyeon's grasp, making eye contact with Jiyeon now. The knowing look she's giving her is making Yubin’s stomach churn.

“I'm going to go use the washroom before lunch is over,” Yubin mutters, getting up hastily. “I'll see you after school, Yoohyeon. I'll see you later, Jiyeon.”

Yubin speed-walks to the furthest bathroom, locking herself in the last stall. She presses her back up against the cool metal, trying to catch her breath. Jiyeon can't know anything, right? Yubin is undoubtedly being paranoid. 

She tells herself it's fine. She'll never see Jiyeon again after a couple of weeks. She tells herself that Jiyeon just doesn't understand how Yoohyeon and her work. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.

The bell rings. 

* * *

Moving is a blur. The States are fast paced and rude in a way that South Korea just isn’t, and it takes some getting used to. They’re not even in their building for a whole day before they’re getting hit on by men old enough to be their dads. Yoohyeon is the one to handle it. 

They spend the first couple of days arguing over how to design their apartment. Every piece of furniture they have is black or white, so it makes it easy for them to figure out how to decorate, but it also makes it harder because they have no footing already on the ground to start. 

(“ _ No,  _ we should have art on the walls,” Yoohyeon whines. “Art is universal.” 

“If we put art up, then why can’t we put up a shelf to put my records on?” Yubin argues, and at the way Yoohyeon’s lips part in response, she knows she has her. She sulks quietly on the couch. “How about… we do neutrality for the common spaces and we do our bedrooms the way we like?” 

Yoohyeon laughs, heartily, and it makes Yubin’s lips turn up at the edges. Just like always. 

“Yubin, ever the problemsolver,” Yoohyeon says with a sigh. She makes grabby hands until Yubin is on the couch with her, their arms linked. “Fine. I like the colour of the walls already. Maybe we can both choose together what goes up or if it stays blank.” At Yubin’s nod, Yoohyeon continues, “and the bathroom won’t have any of that tacky pink-or-blue tapered shit. It will be classy.” Yubin snorts.) 

It’s their last day before their first term starts, and she and Yoohyeon both radiate nervousness. They’re silent in their newly-decorated apartment, and Yoohyeon’s anxiety is manifesting more physically than Yubin’s. Yubin presses her hand onto Yoohyeon’s leg to stop it from bouncing. 

“What if no one likes me?” Yoohyeon whispers. 

Yubin wants to laugh at the prospect of someone not liking Yoohyeon, but she doesn’t because she knows Yoohyeon will think she’s laughing at her, and she would never. “I’m sure everyone will like you,” she says after a moment. “You’re the most sociable person I know.” 

Yoohyeon leans her weight onto Yubin, taking Yubin’s hand in hers and playing with her fingers for a little while. This seems to calm her, and Yubin is happy that she was able to help even at all. 

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Yoohyeon asks. “I know I’m going to have trouble sleeping, and I always sleep better when I’m anxious if you’re there.”

Yubin’s heart swells. “Yeah,” she whispers. “Yeah. Let’s get ready for bed, okay?” 

Within the next hour, they're wrapped around each other in the middle of Yubin’s bed. Yoohyeon’s long legs tangle with Yubin’s, and her arms are wrapped securely around Yubin’s waist. Yubin isn't physically affectionate by any means, but in the privacy of her bedroom and in the dark, with Yoohyeon, she doesn't mind. 

She especially doesn't mind when Yoohyeon passes out next to her within minutes, and she follows suit, sleeping dreamlessly until her alarm goes off in the morning. Yoohyeon is holding her tight, like a koala, and Yubin tries to extract herself. 

“Wha’?” 

“Go back to sleep,” Yubin whispers. “I'll wake you up when I get back from my run.”

“Mmkay,” Yoohyeon says sleepily, letting go of Yubin and turning over onto her stomach.

Yubin looks at her fondly before grabbing her jogging clothes, which she's already laid out on her dresser, and going into the bathroom.

It's not cold but it's not warm out, it honestly feels just perfect, and Yubin thinks she can thrive off a daily routine starting like this.

When she gets back, sweaty and in a good mood, Yoohyeon is already awake. 

“Hey,” Yoohyeon says with a sleepy smile that Yubin is a lot in love with.

“Hi,” Yubin responds, going to the fridge and grabbing her water bottle. She feels Yoohyeon's eyes on her as she gulps the water down, the sweat on her neck cooling. “What?”

“Nothing,” Yoohyeon says, with a little dusting of red coating her cheeks. Her eyes drift in a way that makes you feel warm all over, but also self conscious. “You've gained a lot of muscle in the last few weeks. It looks good.”

Yubin looks down at herself. She knows she's lost weight, which is her goal, but she wasn’t expecting to gain muscle in the process, especially notable amounts of it.

“Thanks,” she says, uncomfortable by the praise. “I'm going to go shower. I won't be long, don't worry.”

Yoohyeon nods and dives into her breakfast.

Yubin’s shower is cold and just what she needs to truly wake herself up. She tries to tell herself that it's normal to be nervous on your first day of college, in a new country, without many people she knows. But she tries to trick herself out of her nervousness since she thinks Yoohyeon is anxious enough for the both of them.

She allows the scent of her shampoo to ground her, going through the motions of her shower and spending maybe a little bit of extra time on shaving her legs, despite the fact that she’ll be wearing pants. 

She looks at her iPhone when she's brushing her teeth, sees a little message from her mom and sees that she needs to hurry herself up so Yoohyeon can shower and put on her makeup. Yubin, luckily, doesn't wear much makeup unless she and Yoohyeon are going out and Yoohyeon insists on doing it for her. Makes it a lot easier when getting ready in the morning. 

She does, however, style and dry her hair until it looks how she wants it to. It's too long for her liking, to her shoulders, and she often talks herself out of chopping it short. 

Yubin takes time to inspect herself in the mirror after she dresses. She’s wearing a pair of jeans with rips in them, and a button up tucked into the front with a button or two undone. Her collarbones jut out nicely, her stomach flat against the front of her pants. But something… still doesn’t quite look right. She’s just about to scrap the whole outfit when Yoohyeon knocks on the door.

“Yubin, come on,” Yoohyeon whines.

With a chuckle, Yubin opens up the door. “Sorry, sorry. I’m done. All yours.” 

Yoohyeon smiles sleepily at her before going into the bathroom. Seconds later, Yubin hears the shower turn on. 

The rest of the morning before she and Yoohyeon leave is quick. Yoohyeon is done getting ready in record time, coming out of the bathroom and looking like she’s about to hit a runway. Yubin ignores how her heartbeat speeds up when she looks at her and takes in the hemline of her dress. She looks away. 

* * *

Days pass. They get situated in their classes, and their routine. Yubin even meets a girl in one of her classes. 

“Hey,” the girl says, on the first day, sitting down beside her in the lecture hall. There are a bunch of open seats, but the girl chooses the one directly by Yubin. She’s short and has pretty, long hair. “I’m Bora.” 

“Hi,” Yubin says, a little shy. She fidgets, playing with her own fingers. Bora looks down for a few long seconds. Yubin winds up putting her hands in her lap instead. “I’m Yubin.” 

“So, when did you move here?” Bora asks, and it must be because of Yubin’s accent when she speaks English. 

Yubin feels a little self conscious now. “A couple of weeks ago,” she replies. “What about you?” 

“A few years back,” Bora says, leaning forward and reading the syllabus. “Hey, do you want to partner together for this term assignment? It has to be done in pairs.”

Yubin’s eyebrows scrunch in the middle. She hates partnered work, much preferring to do the work herself with no one slowing her down. But, she instead says, “sure. Thanks,” and she smiles, just to be polite. 

They exchange numbers and a few days later, Bora asks if they can meet up to talk about the assignment and to go through who does what. 

“Ah, your apartment is nice,” Bora says as she walks through the door. She takes a moment to look around, and Yubin just watches her. 

“Thanks,” she says, kind of shy. “Yoohyeon, my roommate,” she points to the picture of herself and Yoohyeon that’s hanging on the wall, “is the one who picked out most of the decor. We had to make it neutral because our bedrooms are so drastically different from each other so to avoid fights we made the common areas monochrome.” 

Bora smirks. “My ex girlfriend was like that,” she reveals, and the way she’s looking at Yubin makes it seem like she’s trying to gauge a specific reaction. 

Yubin doesn’t give it to her. She remains impassive, even though she’s mildly surprised and she’s thinking,  _ does she know? Did I say something that told her that I like girls, too?  _

“Should we get started on this assignment?” Yubin says instead, changing the subject. “I just have to get my book from my room. We can sit at the kitchen table or —”

“Can we sit on the couch instead? I want to rest a bit.” 

Yubin shrugs and walks into her bedroom to retrieve her book. “If you want to,” she calls out. Just as she’s walking out, she sees Bora trying to peek inside but she gets in the way of her view, closing the door. 

“You’re very private,” Bora muses. “Are you like that with everyone?” 

“Mostly,” Yubin responds honestly. She nudges the hand that’s holding her book toward the couch. “Let’s get working.” 

Turns out, they’re a pretty good team. They get through the basics of their assignment quite quickly, splitting up the work evenly so that they don’t have to do the entire thing together at this very moment. When Yubin looks up, tongue poked out between her teeth, she finds Bora is looking at her. 

“What?” 

Bora smiles, and Yubin realizes she’s really quite pretty. 

“I just think you’re handsome, is all.” 

Yubin’s eyebrows crease together. “Handsome? I’m a girl,” Yubin says with a scoff, feeling mildly offended (and a bit of something else, too, something that Yubin can’t quite place and it’s throwing her off.) 

“Girls can be handsome,” Bora tells her. “You have the pretty girls, like me and and your roommate, with the long hair and who wear makeup and dresses and skirts. And then you have the handsome girls, like you, with your pants and tucked-in button-ups.” Yubin watches as Bora’s eyes travel down her body, resting on her hands longer than necessary, before meeting her eyes again.

Yubin feels her cheeks go pink. “I—”

Bora’s hand is on her cheek now, no doubt feeling the heat centered there, and she leans in slowly, as if to give Yubin enough warning, enough time to pull back if she needs to.

Yubin doesn’t move away, instead, she leans in a bit closer until Bora’s lips touch hers. They’re soft and gentle and everything Yubin thought a girls lips would feel like. She feels what she never felt the one time she kissed a boy—want. She breathes out through her nose, letting Bora take the lead and teach her, which is  _ nice, _ but Yubin wants more. 

She opens up her mouth beneath Bora’s, and Bora makes a noise as she shuffles closer to Yubin on the couch, throwing her leg over her lap and straddling her. 

“Is this your first kiss?” Bora asks as they break away. Her hands are on either side of Yubin’s neck. 

“No,” Yubin whispers. 

“Is this your first kiss with a girl?”

“Yes.” 

Bora doesn’t respond, and Yubin can’t stop looking at her lips, so she licks her own and that does the trick because Bora’s kissing her again and it feels… heavenly. It feels like everything that they sad was wrong with kissing girls, and everything that’s  _ right _ . Her head is fuzzy and Bora’s tongue moving softly against hers, and her fingers are trailing up the smooth skin of Bora’s back, and—

It happens very quick, with the front door to the apartment opening and Yoohyeon standing in the doorway. Bora almost jumps out of her skin and Yubin’s fingers dig into her back to keep her from falling backward and onto the living room table. 

“Hi, I’m Bora,” Bora says after a couple moments of awkward silence, with Yoohyeon standing, mouth agape and staring at them on the couch, and Yubin and Bora still in the compromising position they were in before they got interrupted. Bora’s met with no response, so she continues, “we were working on a project?” But it sounds like a question, and if this wasn’t so scary to Yubin, she’d laugh. 

Bora gets off of Yubin and stands, straightening her clothes and Yubin does the same. “I’ll, uh, text you,” Bora says, turning to give Yubin a little wink before she grabs her bag and coat. She brushes past Yoohyeon. “Nice to meet you.” And then she’s gone, leaving the door open and Yoohyeon and Yubin staring at each other.

Yubin clenches her jaw. This isn’t how she ever wanted Yoohyeon to find out. She isn’t even sure if she even  _ wanted  _ Yoohyeon to find out, but she certainly didn’t want it to happen like this, not with the look of betrayal and hurt on her face. Something in Yubin’s chest constricts and she’d gasp for air if she wasn’t so good at hiding her emotions. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yoohyeon asks, kicking the door shut. She doesn’t sound accusatory, exactly. She sounds sad, which is way worse.

Why  _ didn’t  _ she tell Yoohyeon? That’s not something Yubin is ready to look into. The reason behind why… she knows why. Of course she knows why, but she doesn’t want to think about why because thinking about it makes it real. 

“I didn’t know how you’d react,” Yubin lies, instead. It’s cheap, and the look of pain on Yoohyeon’s face is warranted and Yubin immediately feels bad. “I wasn’t ready.” 

Yoohyeon’s features soften, a lot. 

“I’m your best friend, Binnie,” Yoohyeon whispers as she sits down next to Yubin on the couch. She grabs her hands, takes them into both of hers. They’re warm. Their legs are overlapping as Yoohyeon crosses hers to match Yubin’s stance. “I don’t care who you like. You know I like girls, too. I wish you trusted me enough to tell me.” 

“It doesn’t have to do with trust,” Yubin says, trying not to get annoyed. “It has to do with my comfort. I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone, but I wasn’t ready.” 

“Then how did that girl know before me?” 

Yubin breathes out from her nose, trying to keep composed. “She… I don’t know. I think it has a bit with how I dress, and then she kissed me and I kissed her back, so she must have just figured it out.” 

Yoohyeon looks guilty now. 

“What?” Yubin asks, although she’s afraid to hear the answer. 

“I may have… Well, I wouldn’t say I  _ knew _ , because I’m still surprised, but I may have thought a few times that maybe you were gay.” 

Yubin’s heart pounds, her skin going cold. “Why?” 

“Jiyeon,” Yoohyeon says, and the way she says it makes it seem like Yubin is missing something huge. Yubin must give her a  _ what are you talking about _ face because Yoohyeon rolls her eyes. “Come on, you didn’t have a crush on her?” 

Yoohyeon thought  _ Jiyeon _ was her crush. Wheels turn in Yubin’s head and before she can stop herself, she says, “yeah, you’re right,” because what’s the alternative? There isn’t one, and this is the easiest way. 

“Does she know?” 

“No,” Yubin says, quickly. “No, uh. I got over it. And I don’t want her to ever find out about it, Yoohyeon. I’m trusting you with this.” 

Yoohyeon zips her mouth closed. “You know I wouldn’t say a word,” she says, earnestly, and Yubin knows that. She knows she would  _ never  _ say anything about this to anyone unless Yubin gave her permission to do so first. But she still feels tense. She must have spaced out because Yoohyeon pinches the back of her hand gently and says, “hey,” which causes Yubin to look up at her, to take in her permanent radiant glow that makes Yubin’s heart erupt into butterflies every single time she sees her. 

“What?” Yubin manages to whisper out, throat dry. 

“I love you, you know that right?” 

When Yubin doesn’t answer, Yoohyeon pulls her in for a hug. A long hug, one that has Yoohyeon leaning backwards until she’s lying down and Yubin is snug on top of her. It’s intimate and Yubin is so uncomfortable over her lack of discomfort. She doesn’t ever want to get up, wants to stay like this, locked away forever with just Yoohyeon. 

She tenses up at the thought. 

Yoohyeon lets her go. 

* * *

There’s no awkwardness, which Yubin expects, but it still surprises her nonetheless. Yubin knows Yoohyeon likes girls, has known for years, so she doesn’t understand why she thought Yoohyeon figuring out that Yubin does too would stop her from walking around the apartment in just her underwear and long band t-shirts she stole from Yubin’s closet. 

It seems like a normal Saturday afternoon, with Yubin at the kitchen table looking over her notes, and Yoohyeon on the floor of the living room with her laptop, until—

“I have a date tonight,” Yoohyeon says, giddy. 

Yubin schools her expression, perfectly. “Oh, wow. With who?” 

“Her name is Siyeon. She’s in my elective class.” Yoohyeon types into her phone for a moment before turning the screen toward Yubin. “That’s her. She’s totally gorgeous, right? Her facial structure is to die for. Totally my type.” 

Yubin forces a smile. “She’s beautiful,” she says, and Siyeon  _ is  _ beautiful, in all the ways Yubin wishes she herself was. Angular face, toned jawline, full lips, dark black hair… she’s a literal dream, and Yubin can’t even find it in herself to be jealous because she’s exactly the type of person Yoohyeon will look good with. A beauty to match her own. 

Yoohyeon’s talking animatedly, telling her all about Siyeon and their impending date, when Yubin’s phone trills. She looks down, and so does Yoohyeon, and Bora’s name flashes on the screen. 

“Hold on a second,” Yubin says, and she answers, putting the phone to her ear. She feels sympathy when she sees the annoyed look Yoohyeon gives her, no doubt over having to pause her retelling of Siyeon’s entire life. “Hello?” 

“Yubin?” Bora says, from the other line. She can hear talking overlapping in the background. 

“Hi, Bora.” Yubin scratches the back of her neck. “What’s going on?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come hang out with me tonight? I’m here all alone and I could use a handsome friend to keep me company.” 

Yubin looks at Yoohyeon, who is looking at her in a way Yubin can’t decipher. Fuck it. “Yeah, sure. When and where?” 

Bora makes an excited noise, which makes Yubin flinch. “Whenever, I’ll text you the address.” She hangs up, leaving Yubin wondering what the hell she has just gotten herself into. 

Yoohyeon’s looking at her, head tilted. “What’s up?” 

“Oh, uh, Bora just asked me to hang out tonight,” Yubin answers, a little shyly. “No big deal. She’s going to text me the address, but I should probably get ready. And so should you. You have a date to prepare for.”

“So do you, apparently,” Yoohyeon mutters. “So, are you and Bora, like, dating?” 

“No,” Yubin answers automatically, getting up from the table and walking into her bedroom. She calls out, “we’ve barely seen each other outside of class, and each time we have it was to work on our assignment.” She looks at her wardrobe, unsure of what to wear. She thinks that Bora likes it when she’s a little more masculine, so she’s eying her black dress pants, a white button-up and clipped suspenders. You know what? That’ll do perfect. 

Yubin can hear Yoohyeon singing from the bathroom, her beautiful voice lending Yubin a tool to use to ground herself with. When she walks out of her bedroom to join Yoohyeon in the bathroom, she sees Yoohyeon from afar and, well, she almost trips over her own feet. 

She’s wearing a floral off-the-shoulder sundress that goes all the way down her body, and it’s flowy, and she looks absolutely beautiful. Siyeon’s lucky, to be able to see Yoohyeon in this and know that she wore it for her. Yubin is blessed to even be able to  _ look _ at her, she can’t imagine how it’d feel to have Yoohyeon dress up like that for her. 

Once she’s able to actually walk properly, she heads into the bathroom. “Sorry, can I just grab my—” A bottle is thrust into her waiting hand. “Cologne,” she finishes off, needlessly. “Thanks.” 

“I know you,” Yoohyeon says, meeting Yubin’s eyes in the mirror. They lock and hold and it feels too suffocating, so Yubin just glances at herself on the way out, and she looks presentable, she supposes. She dabs a bit of her cologne on and sets it on the table in the living room. “How do I look?” Yoohyeon is in front of her, obviously done in the bathroom. 

Thousands of words and synonyms of said words pop into her head at once, and out of every single one of them, Yubin manages to settle on, “good.” 

Yoohyeon frowns, looking kind of put out and a lot sad. Yubin’s phone trills at the same time Yoohyeon says, “thanks,” and when Yubin looks down, it’s Bora’s text message with the address and a winky emoji. 

“It’s close to here. A club,” Yubin reads out. She puts her phone into her pocket, grabs her wallet and stuffs that in the opposite one. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later. Text me when you’re home safe so I don’t have to worry.” 

“Yeah, you too.” 

* * *

“I’m glad you came out,” Bora says, looking at Yubin like they share a secret.

Yubin just rolls her eyes as they sit together at a secluded table in the corner of the club. Bora had talked to the bouncer to let her and Yubin in despite Yubin not yet being 21. 

Bora looks pretty in a short and tight black dress with a maroon hem. Yubin had felt self-conscious about what she was wearing when she saw the type of club they were in, still does, but she really enjoys the way Bora looks at her and she feels a little bit of confidence start to melt its way in. 

They’re sitting very close together and at first, Yubin hadn’t thought this was a date. She definitely does now, with the way Bora is looking at her under the ambient lighting of the shitty little club they’re in, and the way Bora is almost sitting in her lap on the bench, they’re seated that close. 

“You look handsome,” Bora murmurs, voice low and right by her ear. 

Yubin feels herself flush at the praise and takes a gulp of the drink that Bora got her to calm her nerves. She feels the hand Bora has on her thigh slide up. 

“Aren’t you drinking anything?” Yubin whispers. 

“No,” Bora says, looking at her intently. “I want to be sober for this.” 

“Sober for wh—” Yubin starts to ask, but gets cut off when Bora cups her cheek and kisses her, and it’s sweet and soft, but still makes Yubin’s heart race. 

They pass kisses between them for what feels like forever, and Yubin feels lightheaded and she  _ knows  _ it’s not from the drink she’d had because that effect has long worn off. 

“Want to get out of here?” Bora asks between kisses, when they part for small breaths in between. Yubin’s hand has found its way to Bora’s waist, gripping tight, and she thinks Bora might like that. 

(She might like it, too.) 

“Yeah,” Yubin whispers back, although she's loathe to let go of Bora even for a moment.

Bora takes her by the hand and leads her out, down the street until they're in front of a couple of scattered buildings. They walk inside one and Yubin follows Bora into an elevator, watching as she presses the button to the seventh floor.

“I live here,” Bora says, needlessly. 

The elevator dings and they walk quickly out and into the hallway, finding Bora’s apartment and getting inside safely. As soon as the lock is latched, Bora is on Yubin, pressing her back against the wood.

“I've been thinking about this since the day we kissed,” Bora tells her. Bora’s lips are on Yubin's jaw, kissing down until she's at her neck. Yubin feels the sting of Bora sucking a mark onto her neck, but it's not unpleasant. “We don't have to go all the way tonight.”

“I want to,” Yubin says, before she can stop herself. “But I've never—” She gasps as Bora puts her hand on top of her breast. “I've never done this before.” 

“I figured,” Bora says. “It's okay. I'll teach you.”

They walk backward through the apartment until Yubin falls forward on top of Bora onto the bed. They're kissing again, a little sloppier and wetter, their tongues moving against each other. 

Yubin slips her thigh between both of Bora’s, out of sheer intuition, and the girl moans below her.

“You're so fucking hot.”

Yubin doesn't feel bashful or shy, as she usually would. She feels a little powerful, actually. Wants Bora naked below her and to do everything she's ever dreamed of doing to—

No. She halts her thoughts there. No. Don’t think of Yoohyeon. Bora doesn't deserve that. 

They hastily get undressed, Bora shedding her tight dress and then both of them working on unclipping Yubin’s suspenders and getting her out of her layers. 

Yubin has never allowed a single person in her adolescent life to see her naked and when she takes in how Bora is looking at her, all reasons as to why leave her mind. Bora is quite literally looking at her like she would look at a feast.

“God, kiss me again,” Bora whimpers and Yubin does, leaning heavily forward to press their mouths together.

Yubin uses this time to explore with her hands, while her mouth is busy on Bora’s. Her hands skate down, over the slopes of Bora’s breasts. Her nipples are peaked and Yubin’s index finger circles one before pinching it between that finger and her thumb. Bora's back bows off the bed, their lips breaking off for a moment so Bora can let out a gasp.

“Jesus,” Bora says. “Maybe I don't have to teach you anything.” 

“I like being self-sufficient,” Yubin flirts. She kisses down Bora’s neck and chest, allowing her lips to wrap around a nipple. She sucks, soft, her hand at the other breast, putting Bora into a frenzy. 

She kisses down lower until her head is between Bora’s legs. Bora’s hand is in Yubin’s hair, not pushing or pulling, just to rest. Yubin looks between the apex of Bora’s thighs, trying to figure out where to start. Bora doesn't guide her or tell her, and Yubin is happy that Bora is intuitive enough to know when to let Yubin do things her own way. 

Yubin presses her lips against Bora’s bare pubic bone, peppering kisses all over before finally pressing a kiss to Bora’s clit. Yubin can smell the heady scent of her and it’s intoxicating. Her hands come down, fingers opening Bora up and Yubin swipes her tongue broadly. Bora moans in surprise, hips canting upward.

Yubin’s tongue presses against her clit then, tuning her senses to Bora’s reactions. She likes hard strokes as opposed to soft fleeting ones, and prefers circular motions to up and down or side to side. Yubin may not know what she's doing but she's a good listener, and that's something that may come in handy here.

She pushes her tongue inside of Bora, so she can get a taste of her, and she's tangy and sour, in the best way possible. She alternates between sucking at Bora’s clit and fucking her with her tongue. Which seems to work, if Bora’s gasps and moans are anything to go by. 

“Fingers,” Bora gasps after a little while, when she's in a sweaty and twitching mess. “Put your fingers inside me.” 

Yubin crawls up Bora’s body, middle and ring fingers circling around Bora’s opening before pressing in. It's warm and sticky and wet, and not much different from how she herself feels around her own fingers.

Bora’s hips meets Yubin’s hand each thrust, and she begs, “faster, fuck, go faster,” so Yubin does, driving her fingers into Bora harshly, watching Bora’s face intently as she’s driven to orgasm. 

“Right there, right there,” Bora groans, and Yubin keeps up what she's doing, doesn't change a single thing, and watches in utter fascination as Bora shatters below her. Her back arches and the sound she lets out is louder than Yubin expects, but it's one hell of a turn on. 

Once Bora’s caught her breath after her orgasm, Yubin pulls out her fingers.

“I can't believe you're a virgin,” Bora says after a moment. 

“I'm not anymore,” Yubin reminds her.

“Still. Shit. That's good. I may have to keep you around.” Yubin blushes. “My turn now. Flip over.” 

Yubin lies in her back and watches as Bora runs her hands down the hard lines of her body.

“Do you dance?” Bora asks.

“Not much anymore,” Yubin says.

“You have a dancer's body. Lots of muscle.” 

Yubin blushes. 

“Can I touch you?”

Yubin just nods, watches as Bora palms her breasts. Her nipples aren't really sensitive so Bora really has to pinch them to get any type of reaction from Yubin. 

“Do you know if you like penetration?” Bora whispers.

“I do,” Yubin responds. “I want you to fuck me, too.” 

Bora seems surprised at the boldness and honestly, Yubin is too.

“Yes, ma'am,” Bora says, bringing her fingers down to test Yubin’s wetness. Her eyes widen. “Holy shit.” Yubin’s face flushes harder. “Don’t be embarrassed, it's so hot that you got this wet just from fucking me.” Bora’s fingers skirt through Yubin’s folds, pressing down against her clit until Yubin’s hips try to twitch away. 

Bora moves down more, pushes a finger into Yubin’s opening. When it's met with no resistance, she adds a second finger before moving them. She's so wet that there's hardly any friction, but Bora plays her expertly, like her body is an instrument that Bora has been using for years. Bora’s thumb presses down against Yubin’s clit, moving in time with her fingers. Within minutes, she comes. 

They lie side by side, breathing heavy, Bora’s wet fingers on Yubin’s bare stomach. This feels… it feels  _ nice _ , she dares to think. 

“You can spend the night if you want to,” Bora whispers. “I’d like to go another couple of rounds. Really make sure you have a good first experience.” 

Yubin rolls onto her side, her legs entwining with Bora’s. “I did have a good experience,” Yubin tells her. “I like how you feel.” 

“I knew that you’d prefer to top rather than bottom,” Bora says with a chuckle. 

“What?” 

Bora’s fingers, still wet, draw circles on Yubin’s stomach, the muscles clenching underneath. “You know, the positions. Top is the person doing the fucking, bottom is the person being fucked,” Bora explains. 

Yubin’s cheeks heat a little bit. “I hadn’t thought of it much,” she lies. 

“Bullshit,” Bora says with a laugh. 

And, well, Bora’s right. In every single fantasy or scenario she’s concocted in her head, she’s the one giving Yooh—no, nope, the  _ women _ in her mind pleasure. Sure, she gets off by pushing two fingers into herself or by pressing down harshly onto her own clit, but what really gets her going is having a woman beneath her.

“I’m appreciative of women,” Yubin says, grumpily. 

This just makes Bora laugh harder. “It’s okay. I knew I had you pegged. And I really am happy to give you a good experience. I like you, you know?” Yubin isn’t sure how to respond, so she doesn’t, so Bora continues with, “plus you’re really hot, and your fingers are so long.”

“Is  _ that  _ why you stare at my hands all the time?” Yubin says, incredulously. “Are all American girls this obvious?” 

“Yeah,” Bora says, proud, rolling over and kissing Yubin’s jaw. “We are.” 

* * *

Yubin does end up staying the night, and she wakes up mid-morning pleasantly sore and with a weight attached to her front. Bora is sleeping on her chest. She doesn’t want to wake her but she needs to get home. 

“Bora,” Yubin whispers, shaking her gently. When Bora just groans and rolls over, Yubin shrugs and hauls herself out of bed. 

She searches Bora’s room for her clothes and luckily the blinds weren’t closed before they fell asleep, so it’s quite bright. She hastily puts all her clothes on and gets all her belongings. She has, like, fifty missed texts and calls from Yoohyeon. Shit. 

Once she’s outside she reads through them as she walks back toward the club so she can walk to her building. It’s a lot of “Yubin where are you’s?” and a couple “I hope you’re safe’s” and one very angry “you could have at least texted me to let me know you aren’t in danger.” 

Yubin feels a little bad. She really  _ should _ have let Yoohyeon know that she wasn’t coming home. 

And when Yubin walks through the door, she’s immediately bombarded with, “where were you?!” 

Yoohyeon very rarely yells and honestly, Yubin is a little afraid. 

“You don’t answer any of my calls or texts, I’m worried sick all night because you don’t come home and you don’t tell me you’re not coming home…” Yoohyeon runs her sentence off, trying to get a grip. “I was literally so worried something happened to you, Yubin. I’m not trying to be mean or controlling or to mother-hen you, but I was really genuinely freaked out something bad might have happened to you.” 

Yubin feels a wave of emotion crash over her but that just makes her irritated, because Yoohyeon  _ is  _ mother-henning her and she would much rather focus on that annoying fact than the idea that Yoohyeon wasted time she should have been asleep worrying about her. 

“I’m sorry,” she says simply. “I stayed over at Bora’s. I… was indisposed and I didn’t have my phone on me.” 

Yoohyeon’s eyes zero in on Yubin’s neck. “Indisposed,” she says, a little harsh, with a humourless laugh. “That’s a nice way of putting it.” 

Yubin self consciously raises her hand to her neck and lifts her phone to see and—oh. There’s marks. Very obvious marks. 

“It’s not your business,” Yubin snaps. “I said I was sorry for worrying you, but what I do when I’m not here isn’t your business and it’s not yours to comment on.” 

“You went to a strange girls house!” Yoohyeon says loudly. “I’m at least  _ assuming _ it was Bora, anyway, unless you went home with a stranger!” 

Yubin feels the sting of the comment and feels her hackles rise. “It was Bora,” she confirms. “And she’s not strange. And it’s still none of your business.” Her voice is calm, eerily so, even to her. She hates arguments and she hates when Yoohyeon gets emotional over things that don’t require it. “If you’re just going to keep being judgmental and yelling at me, I’m going to shower.” 

“Of course,” Yoohyeon mutters, loud enough for Yubin to hear. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Yubin asks, baited. Yoohyeon looks at her dismissively. “No, seriously, what? I don’t want to hear you bitch at me over something that isn’t your business. I apologized for worrying you. It should have ended there, but instead you’re not only judging  _ me  _ for what I do with others, but you’re inadvertently judging the people I do it with? You’re my best friend and roommate, Yoohyeon, but you’re not my mother, and I’m not going to tolerate this.” 

Yoohyeon looks taken aback, but Yubin is feeling particularly venomous, so she continues. “If I want to hang out with a friend who isn’t you, I’m going to. If I want to take her back to her place and fuck her after we go out, I’m going to. Hell, if want to go home with a total stranger and fuck her,  _ I’m going to _ .” Yoohyeon’s mouth drops open. Yubin breathes in deep, trying to reign in the fresh anger that’s tackled her out of nowhere. “Now, I’m sorry that I worried you. Again. Next time, I’ll text you all the appropriate details so you know where I am. But I’m not going to stand here and allow you to judge me for being an adult.” 

There’s some silence and Yubin almost recoils when she plays back what has just come out of her mouth. She’s never talked like that to anybody, much less Yoohyeon. She sees Yoohyeon go through the stages—shock, anger, acceptance. Yubin watches as Yoohyeon’s whole body sags. 

“I’m sorry,” Yoohyeon says after a moment. “I… I didn’t mean to judge you. It’s so unlike me to judge you. I’m just tired and I was worried and I… I’m sorry.” 

Yubin holds out her hand to Yoohyeon, which Yoohyeon greedily accepts, and brings her in for a long hug. The taller girl hunches a little to drape her entire body over Yubin’s, and they stand in the middle of their living room for what feels like hours, just hugging. 

(They very rarely fight, much less the way they just did, so naturally they have no idea how to make up. Yubin thinks hugging it out seems good.) 

“How did your date go?” Yubin asks after a moment, and even asking the question makes her stomach do unpleasant somersaults. But, they’re best friends and Yubin knows that Yoohyeon needs a best friend to talk about his stuff with. 

“She’s so nice,” Yoohyeon says after a moment. Yubin can feel Yoohyeon’s lips on her shoulder, moving as she talks. “And so pretty. She’s a little weird, but not in the alarming way. I think I really like her. We’re going to go out again on Friday.” 

Yubin is happy that Yoohyeon can’t see her face. “I’m glad,” Yubin whispers, tightening her arms around Yoohyeon’s waist. 

“How was it with… Bora?” Yoohyeon asks after a couple of moments. “You… did you…” 

“Yeah,” Yubin answers. “I did. We did.” 

“How was it?” Yoohyeon sounds genuinely curious and Yubin just writes it off as her being Yubin’s best friend and wondering what it’s like to be with women. 

“It was…” Yubin tries to think of the appropriate words to use. “Wet,” is what she comes up with, and when Yoohyeon pulls back and when Yubin sees the look on her face, she bursts out laughing. They both laugh, so hard that they wind up on the floor and gripping their sides.

After a few minutes, when they’ve calmed their laughing, Yoohyeon asks, “did it hurt?” 

“No,” Yubin says, unsure of how much detail she should go into. “I’m sore now, but it didn’t hurt when it was happening. I’m not sure how it’s like to be with a man, but I’m sure it’s far less painful to lose your virginity to a woman.” 

“It hurts with men,” Yoohyeon mutters. Ah, right. Yubin forgot she’d lost her virginity a couple of years prior. “But it wasn’t unpleasant. You get kind of used to it after a bit.” 

Yubin nods. “Well,” she says, and she’s never said it to anyone before, but, “I’m not interested in men whatsoever, so I have absolutely no curiosity about that process.” 

Yoohyeon lets out a loud bark of a laugh. “I know,” she says. “I’m just… curious.”

“About how sex with women works?” Yubin asks, warily. 

“No, about how I didn’t know that you were the type to just…” Yoohyeon struggles to find the words, and Yubin’s not feeling quite so poisonous and knows that Yoohyeon isn’t intentionally sounding judgmental. 

Yubin sighs. “I don’t think of sex quite as romantically as you,” Yubin tells her. “I… just wanted to do it. She wanted to do it with me. It didn’t need to be special or candlelit or under the stars. I just needed to be with someone who—” Who, what? _Wants me,_ she thinks, but doesn’t dare say. “I just wanted it to happen, you know? Virginity is a social construct.” 

Yoohyeon looks at her affectionately. “Of course you’d de-romantacize the idea of sex.”

“I didn’t say it can’t be romantic,” Yubin argues. “I just said I didn’t need romance for my first time. We’re all different, Yoohyeon. The world isn’t as simplistic and pretty as you think it is. And you don’t know everything about me.” 

She gets up off the floor, not daring to look at Yoohyeon. “I have to shower.” She goes into her room to grab her boxers and a t-shirt to lounge around in, and shuts herself away into the bathroom. 

Looking at her reflection in the mirror, well. She sees what Yoohyeon sees now. Her hair is mussed, she has marks on her neck and shoulder, probably more even lower than that. She looks completely and utterly wrecked. She’d be surprised, too, she thinks, if Yoohyeon came home looking like this. But that’s not something she’d like to think about before a shower. 

When she comes out, freshly washed, Yoohyeon is in her own room with the door closed. 

* * *

Term one ends. Yubin continues her thing with Bora, which is closer to a friendship than a relationship, except with sex. Really, really good sex. 

Yubin and Yoohyeon still make time for each other—they walk to campus together, hang out on their breaks in the quad, watch Netflix at night when neither of them can sleep. Sometimes Yoohyeon will find her way into Yubin’s bed to sleep. Siyeon doesn’t seem to like that much.

Siyeon and Yoohyeon continue to date. They become official. Yubin meets her a couple of times, but prefers not to be home when Yoohyeon brings her over. She hates the feeling that sticks in her stomach when she sees Yoohyeon with Siyeon. 

She never brings Bora over either. 

(Well, no, Yubin brought Bora home  _ once. _ On a night Yoohyeon was supposed to be at Siyeon’s, so imagine her surprise when her and Bora are showering together and she hears Yoohyeon in the living room. That was awkward.)

They’re in the start of their next term when Yoohyeon comes home crying one night. Yubin’s home, sitting in her PJs on their couch with a fruit salad. 

“What’s wrong?” Yubin asks, heart sinking. In all the years that she’s known Yoohyeon, she’s never been able to withstand seeing her cry. 

Yoohyeon doesn’t say a word, and she starts walking toward Yubin in a way that tells her to put her fruit bowl down. As soon as she does just that, Yoohyeon crawls onto Yubin’s lap like a puppy and Yubin is shocked for a moment but she puts her arms around Yoohyeon’s waist. She feels her neck getting wet with tears, but she pays it no mind. 

“Hey,” Yubin whispers. “What’s going on?”

Yoohyeon doesn’t answer for a little while, so Yubin sneaks her hand under Yoohyeon’s shirt and rubs small circles on her back, allowing Yoohyeon to cry into her neck. 

“Siyeon broke up with me,” Yoohyeon says, after what feels like hours. She’s sniffling, and her voice is full and heavy, and it makes Yubin’s chest ache. She sounds completely heartbroken. 

“I’m sorry,” Yubin says, quietly. “Want to tell me what happened?” Yoohyeon’s whole body stiffens and Yubin immediately feels bad, so she quickly adds, “you don’t have to. Sorry.” 

Yoohyeon pulls back, and her face is red and puffy and her nose is a little wet, and before Yubin can stop herself, she uses the hem of her sleeve to clean her up. Yoohyeon’s breath hiccups a little and they keep eye contact as Yubin gets rid of the tear tracks and even wipes Yoohyeon’s nose. 

“Thanks,” Yoohyeon mutters. “I’m sorry. I’m literally… in your lap…” 

“It’s okay,” Yubin says, gripping her waist tighter. “It’s okay.” 

Yoohyeon rests her cheek against Yubin’s forehead, her arms wrapped around her neck. Normally Yubin would feel like she’s being suffocated and smothered but when it’s Yoohyeon, when she’s close enough that Yubin can see every detail on her skin, can smell her—

“She was jealous of you.” 

All gears in Yubin’s head stop working. She’s slack jawed, and she’s frozen in place underneath Yoohyeon’s weight. 

“She tried to get me to choose her over you,” Yoohyeon says. “I can’t do that. I’d never do that. You’re the most important person in my life, and if whoever I’m dating can’t respect that…” She clears her throat. “But, when I said no, she broke up with me.” 

She’s the one who ruined Yoohyeon’s relationship. Yoohyeon’s happiness was ruined, because of her. Guilt tugs at her, and she bites down on her lower lip before she blurts, “I’m sorry.” Although she doesn’t quite know what she’s apologizing for. 

“You didn’t do anything,” Yoohyeon says, voice calm. “She’s just jealous, for no reason. She has no reason to be jealous.” 

Yubin nods, because Yoohyeon is right. Sure, Yubin has these feelings for her that are constantly trying to claw their way to the surface, but Yubin has never acted on them. Will  _ never  _ act on them. And Yoohyeon certainly does not feel the same way. 

“She’s an idiot,” Yubin mutters after a moment. “Letting a girl like you go.” 

Yoohyeon smiles, and laughs, and it’s all watery and Yubin’s lap is starting to go numb but she’ll endure it. 

“You have to say that because you’re my best friend,” Yoohyeon says, but from the tone of her voice and the look on her face, Yubin can tell she’s touched and fond. 

“I’d say it regardless,” Yubin says, voice small and soft and gentle. Yoohyeon beams at her, the watery-ness starting to dissipate. She brings her forehead down to rest on Yubin’s, and Yubin breathes deep and counts.  _ One, two, three, four, fi _ —

“Can we watch a movie? I could use a pick-me-up.” 

Yubin swallows, thickly. “Yeah, of course,” she responds. “Just pick a movie, okay? I have to use the bathroom.” 

Yoohyeon gets off of her, and her lap feels strangely empty. Yubin likes the feeling of Yoohyeon on her, with their arms wrapped around each other. She swallows thickly and scurries into the washroom as Yoohyeon moves to pick out a movie. 

She presses a damp washcloth onto her heated skin. “Get a grip,” she tells her reflection, trying to tone down the redness on her face. “She’s your best friend. She just went through a break up. She needs you. Simmer down.” She takes this moment to regulate her breathing, which hasn’t been normal since Yoohyeon stepped through the door, and she’s finding it a little difficult to get herself together. 

Even though Yoohyeon told her not to, she still feels guilty. Yoohyeon chose her friendship with Yubin over her budding romance with Siyeon. Yubin ruined her best friends shot at romantic happiness. Before she has time to sit on that and think about it longer, there’s a knock at the door. 

“Hey, you almost done? I can make popcorn.” 

Yubin turns on the tap and fills the glass on the counter full of water. She downs it before answering, “yeah, I’ll be out in a minute. Popcorn sounds great.” 

She’s amazed her voice doesn’t waver. She takes a couple more moments, filling another glass of water and downing it, before she goes into the living room. The smell of popcorn hits her, and the room is darker. 

“Harry Potter,” Yoohyeon says. “We can do a marathon this weekend, maybe.” 

Yubin feels her heart clench. Yoohyeon knows how much Yubin loves Harry Potter. “This is supposed to be  _ your  _ pick-me-up,” Yubin says, quiet. 

“I love watching Harry Potter with you.” 

Yoohyeon pats the cushion next to her. Yubin dutifully walks and allows Yoohyeon to pull her down and maneuver her until they’re comfortable. Yoohyeon is sitting cross-legged, with Yubin’s head in her lap. The popcorn bowl is resting on Yubin’s stomach. 

Yubin is pretty comfortable, especially midway through the movie when they finish the popcorn and Yubin’s able to turn a little. She almost jumps out of her skin when Yoohyeon’s hand combs its way through Yubin’s hair. It feels so good, and this feels so nice, and Yubin is mortified when she feels tears prick at the back of her eyes. 

She blinks them away and focuses on the movie. 

* * *

Yubin is out of breath and sweaty, and Bora is next to her, scrolling on her phone. She wraps the sheet around herself as she gulps down her water bottle. 

“Wow, that photo of you and Yoohyeon is cute,” Bora says.

Yubin’s eyebrows shoot up and she leans over to look. “What?” 

“The one that Yoohyeon posted this afternoon. She posted this really cute photo of you two.” 

“You follow my roommate?” 

“She followed me first,” Bora says, defensively. “Most of her feed is you guys.” There’s something in her voice that Yubin doesn’t like. “But this photo she just uploaded is very cute.” 

The photo  _ is  _ cute. It’s a bit older, just before they came to America, Yubin remembers, because her mother took it. They’re on Yubin’s couch, Yoohyeon’s legs thrown over Yubin’s thighs, and Yubin is grinning directly into the camera. Yoohyeon is looking at Yubin, though. And she’s not sure why, but looking at the way Yoohyeon is looking at her is making Yubin’s heartbeat unsteady. 

“You two never—”

“No!” Yubin says, too harshly. Bora gives her a knowing look that immediately makes Yubin’s defenses rise. She clears her throat. “No, we’re just friends. Always been just friends.” 

Bora stares at her, contemplating. “But you’re in love with her, right?”

Yubin’s whole world stops. She sits up and wraps the sheet around herself. Yubin saying it to herself internally is one thing. Someone else just  _ knowing _ when she thinks she’s been so careful, that’s absolutely fucking terrifying. 

“Whoa,” Bora says, voice gentle. “Hey. It was just a question, I’m sorry.” 

Bora’s hand is soft and soothing on Yubin’s bare back, and honestly, it feels nice. She’s usually the one to comfort, not the one to be comforted, and maybe she’s craving it. And maybe, she really just wants to tell someone about these stupid feelings that she’s had hovering over her. 

“Yes,” Yubin says, with a gasp, her voice raspy and not sounding at all like her own. Her chest is really tight, and she’s finding it very hard to breathe. “Yeah, yeah, I’m in love with her.” 

Bora doesn’t say anything, just runs her fingers down the length of Yubin’s back and up again. It’s soothing, and it grounds Yubin, and helps her push down all the physical emotion she’s feeling right now. Yubin thinks that if Yoohyeon wasn’t in her life, she and Bora could be best friends. Could be more than that, if Yubin was able to feel for someone else. 

“I’ve been  _ so  _ in love with her for as long as I can remember,” Yubin mumbles. She feels Bora’s cheek press against her back, and arms wrap around her waist. She actually feels safe. “Before I even knew what love was, I think I loved her. Even as a kid, I always thought about her. When people talked about spending their lives with someone, I always pictured her. I can’t—” She takes a breath, because she doesn’t  _ do  _ this. She doesn’t speak about her feelings. “I can’t see a happy life without her in it.” 

“Aww,” Bora whispers. “You really love her. I always kind of wondered, you know? Especially after the first time she saw us kissing. The look on her face looked like betrayal. She looked really hurt.”

Yubin snorts. “She was hurt that I didn’t tell her that I’m a lesbian.”

She feels as Bora moves from behind her. Yubin can’t see her, but she has the sneaking suspicion Bora is looking at her like she’s a moron. “That’s not what it looked like to me,” Bora says. “What it looked like to me was a girl watching the person she loves kissing someone else.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Yubin says, with a laugh. Because it’s just so fucking  _ funny _ , that anyone would look at her and Yoohyeon and think that Yubin would be who Yoohyeon, of all people, would like. That Yubin is even a fraction of Yoohyeon’s type.

“Yubin.” Bora’s voice is hard, and serious, and something that Yubin has never said before. She turns around to look at her, and she’s being glared at. “She’s in love with you. You can’t tell me you don’t know that.” 

Yubin hears ringing in her ears, and she clenches her jaw. “You’re being ridiculous.” When Bora’s expression changes from frustration to pity, Yubin feels her temper rise. She stands up, sheet forgotten, and she looks for her clothes. 

“Yubin,” Bora says again. Yubin doesn’t respond, just pulls on her jeans and her top. She has no idea where her boxers wound up, but she doesn’t care. She needs to get out of here, now. “Yubin, come on, stop.” 

“I have to go,” Yubin mutters. She grabs her phone and stuffs it in her pocket and makes her way out of Bora’s apartment. 

Fuck. 

* * *

Yubin manages to avoid Yoohyeon for the whole next week, until—

“Hey, let’s go out.” She’s standing in the doorway of Yubin’s bedroom. 

It’s Friday night, and Yubin supposes it’s not abnormal for Yoohyeon and Yubin to both be home at the same time. Especially since Yubin is ignoring Bora for the time being and Yoohyeon and Siyeon have broken up. 

“Go where?” 

Yoohyeon shrugs. “I don’t know. There’s this lesbian club downtown that Bora posts about sometimes,” she says, curiously. 

Yubin doesn’t let anything show on her face. She knows it must be obvious to Yoohyeon that she’s not talking to Bora right now, but she’s not about to talk about Bora to Yoohyeon. “If you want.” 

Yoohyeon lights up and runs out of the room and into her own. “Let me just get ready!” 

With a sigh, Yubin heaves herself off her bed to look for something to wear. Bora always said that she looks best when she’s a little more masculine, so she opts for a pair of high-waisted black pants and a belt. She decides to go for something a little different and picks out a crop top, which shows off her collarbones nicely. She wraps a flannel around her waist. She won’t wear makeup, but she  _ does  _ mess up her hair a little. 

Yoohyeon gets ready in record time, coming out of the bathroom and looking as pretty as ever in a pair of tight blue jeans and a bralette with a cardigan hanging loosely over her shoulders. 

“Wow,” Yoohyeon says, and from the look on her face she doesn’t mean to have said it out loud. “Uh, you look good.” 

Yubin just smiles bashfully. “You too.” 

She watches as Yoohyeon walks around their apartment to where they keep a bottle of vodka stashed. Yubin isn’t much of a drinker, has only really drank when out with Bora, but Yoohyeon likes it. Siyeon got her the bottle because she’s of age, and she guesses that’s at least one thing that Siyeon did right. Yoohyeon fills two glasses, a bit too much if you asked Yubin, but it’s fine. Yoohyeon motions her over. 

“One...two...three…” Both Yubin and Yoohyeon knock the shot back, and it burns. Yoohyeon fills her glass and takes another shot. 

Yubin looks at her curiously. “Okay. Where’s this club?” 

“I called the Uber already,” Yoohyeon says, as she screws the cap back on the bottle and puts the glasses in the sink. 

Yubin chuckles. “Eager?” 

“Well,” Yoohyeon says, brushing invisible lint off her jeans. “We’ve barely seen each other all week so I thought you might like to get out and have fun with me.” 

Yubin smiles. A small, gentle smile. “Thank you,” she whispers. 

“Uber’s here!” 

The ride there doesn’t take long at all, and Yoohyeon makes idle chitchat with the driver while Yubin looks out the window. The passing lights, the darkening sky. It’s all beautiful, and atmospheric, and fits her mood perfectly. 

It’s a nice club, Yubin supposes. All the ones that Bora has taken her to look pretty similar, the only difference is that there’s only women here. Yubin and Yoohyeon are sitting at a table, drinking just water (because they’re underage), when a waitress drops a drink in front of Yubin. 

“Oh, I didn’t order this,” Yubin says. 

“It’s from her.” The waitress points toward a pretty girl at the bar. 

Yubin’s cheeks heat up. “Uh—”

“Thank you,” Yoohyeon says, a bit loud. “She appreciates it.” 

The waitress just smiles politely and walks off. Yubin whips her head toward Yoohyeon, eyebrows risen in question. 

“You get a free drink. Why would you tell a waitress you’re underage?” 

“Uh, maybe because I don’t want her to get in trouble?” 

Yoohyeon rolls her eyes and grabs the drink, taking a sip. She’s already tipsy so Yubin figures this won’t hurt her. “It’s good. Bar-Girl has good taste.”

Yubin takes the glass and takes a sip. It  _ is  _ good. She looks back over toward the bar, and makes eye contact with the girl. She smiles and raises her glass up. Yubin just smiles shyly and nods before turning back to Yoohyeon, who has a  _ look _ on her face.

“You gonna go talk to her?” 

It’s tempting, but, “no,” Yubin responds. “I’m here with you. And we got a free drink.” She pushes the glass toward Yoohyeon, who downs it. 

“You’re getting the hang of this pretty quick,” Yubin jokes. “Maybe you should be the one to get drinks bought for you.” (Truthfully, it  _ should  _ be her, Yubin thinks. She’s surprised it isn’t, actually.) 

Yoohyeon giggles. “Come on, let’s dance. I love this song.” Yubin doesn’t recognize the song, it’s something techno-y and it has very little words but it has a good rhythm. 

Yubin feels herself being pulled to the dance floor. There are so many people there that Yubin and Yoohyeon are pressed right up against each other, and they don’t  _ do  _ this. They sleep in the same bed and cuddle, sure. But they don’t do this. So, it feels foreign when Yoohyeon begins to move in time with the music, one of her hands resting comfortably on Yubin’s hip and the other on her neck. Yoohyeon flexes her fingers on Yubin’s waist, trying to coax her into movement. It works. 

They’re so close that Yubin can smell the flower-scented perfume Yoohyeon is wearing, and the shampoo she’s been using for years. She can smell the mint of her breath and the faint tang of alcohol.

Yoohyeon feels so good pressed up against Yubin like this, moving their hips together, swaying to the music in a way that Yubin’s only seen in movies. 

A different song comes on. Still a dance-y song, but with a completely different tempo and vibe. Yubin tries not to jump out of her skin when both of Yoohyeon’s arms hang over her shoulders. They’re pressed even closer now. Yubin’s hands wrap around Yoohyeon’s waist, tightening into fists around the material of her cardigan. 

“Relax,” Yoohyeon whispers. “No one here cares. We’re at a lesbian club.” 

Yubin knows she’s tense, and she tries to release, but Yoohyeon is so close to her and she’s finding it very difficult to breathe. She looks up, sees Yoohyeon looking down at her in a way that makes something coil in Yubin’s stomach. The lighting is sporadic and beaming, and Yoohyeon looks beautiful.

Yoohyeon’s eyes are dark, and they keep eye contact, even as Yoohyeon moves in closer. They’re sharing breath now, and their noses are brushing, and Yoohyeon’s lips brush over hers. 

Something electric runs through Yubin and she pulls Yoohyeon in even tighter, her lips pressing hard onto Yoohyeon’s. Yoohyeon just sighs, allows Yubin to take the lead, and when Yubin imagined her first kiss with Yoohyeon she didn’t think that they’d be in a lesbian club, on a dance floor, and that Yoohyeon would have the taste of liquor on her tongue—

It’s like a bucket of ice water is dumped on her and Yubin pushes herself back and away from Yoohyeon. She feels a little guilty when she hears Yoohyeon calling her name, but her ears are buzzing and she feels like she’s under water. She needs air, needs to get out of here and get away from here and away from Yoohyeon. 

The air outside the club is a bit chilled, but it feels nice on her hot face. Her chest feels tight and her tongue is heavy in her mouth, and her throat is closing in on her, she thinks. 

She gets out her phone, sees several missed calls from Yoohyeon, and ignores them, goes to her Uber app and requests a ride. Her eyes sting as she presses herself against the brick of the wall as she waits, and waits, and waits. 

When she gets to the apartment building, and finds the appropriate door, she knocks. Loud and harsh, until it opens and she’s greeted with a sad sounding, “oh, Yubin…” 

She’s pulled in for a hug, and the dam finally breaks. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” Bora says, softly. She brings Yubin inside, shuffling since Yubin is all-but pressed against Bora like a koala. Bora sits Yubin on her bed, their hands clasped. “Are you going to tell me what happened?” 

Yubin opens her mouth to speak but all that comes out is a noise, that sounds like a cry, and more tears blur her vision and tip over. 

“Honey,” Bora says, soothingly. Her hands are raking gently through Yubin’s hair. “It’s okay, get it all out.” 

It’s encouragement if Yubin’s ever heard it, so she hides her face in Bora’s neck and just. Let’s it out. She’s never allowed someone to see her like this before. Not her mother, not Yoohyeon, not anyone. But Bora makes her feel safe in a way that they never have, and that’s not anything on them. Yubin feels slightly embarrassed that there’s a pool of water on the skin of Bora’s neck, and how Yubin’s tears are staining Bora’s shirt, but she doesn’t let it stop her from getting all of  _ this  _ out of her. 

“Take a couple deep breaths,” Bora advises. 

Yubin does, she does, and her nose burns, and her chest still feels like it has a brick settled over it, but she does it anyway. 

“I’m going to go get you some water, okay? I’ll be right back.” 

Yubin nods, wiping at her cheeks. Bora’s back in no time, with water and kleenex, which Yubin gratefully accepts. 

There’s silence, as Yubin cleans up her face and drinks the water, until— 

“Yoohyeon kissed me.” 

Bora looks confused. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

Yubin’s eyes start to water again, damn them. “No, because we were in a fucking club, and she was drunk. We were dancing, and she kissed me because we were in a lesbian club, and it just wasn’t  _ right. _ ” 

“Does she feel that way?” 

“What?” 

“Does Yoohyeon feel like it was wrong? I understand your perspective, I do. But what if she kissed you because it felt right to her?”

Yubin feels annoyed. “Because she was  _ drunk _ , and I’m her best friend,” she says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “She’s not in love with me. She literally can’t be, because she’s  _ Yoohyeon. _ She’s tall, beautiful, clumsy Yoohyeon, with her megawatt smile and her crescent moon eyes, and her long limbs. She can have anyone. Literally anyone, man or woman, so why would you think she’d want me, Bora?” 

Bora  _ tsks. _ “Baby, do you know how special  _ you  _ are? Or how lucky Yoohyeon would be to have you?” Yubin scoffs, but Bora doesn’t let her off the hook that easily. “You are so beautiful, Yubin. Handsome. And you’re smart, and a really good friend, and you have this way of caring for people. It’s not really unbelievable to think that someone who is also beautiful, and also smart, and is also a really good friend, would be in love with you.” 

“That’s not—” 

“But it is,” Bora says. “It is. And I’m happy to be in your life, and be your friend, and to be here for you right now when you need it. But you need to talk to Yoohyeon, because you two need to figure your shit out before it gets messed up for good.” 

Yubin looks down at her phone. It’s 11:12 p.m. 

“Can you drive me home?” Yubin whispers. 

“Yeah, I’ll drive you home.”

* * *

When Yubin walks into the apartment, it’s eerily quiet. The TV isn’t on, no music is playing. Yoohyeon is curled up on the edge of the couch, with Yubin’s favourite blanket and wearing Yubin’s favourite sweater. Her eyes are puffy. 

“Hi,” Yubin says, because she’s not sure what else there is to say. 

“Hi,” Yoohyeon responds. 

Yubin sits on the opposite side of the couch from Yoohyeon. There’s so much silence, an awkward tension that doesn’t feel right and feels foreign, and fuck, Yubin really messed up. 

“Why did you leave me in the club?” Yoohyeon asks, and Yubin can’t believe that she has to spell it out for her. She swallows down annoyance, and opens her mouth to speak, but Yoohyeon doesn’t give her the chance when she continues, “did you find the girl who bought you the drink?” 

“No, I went to Bora’s, actually,” Yubin says, thoughtlessly, and from the way Yoohyeon’s face pales, she knows it’s the wrong thing to say. “Not—not because of that,” she stutters. 

Yoohyeon’s off the couch moments later, not listening to Yubin’s pathetic attempt at saving face. “So, you left me stranded at a club to go see your hookup?” 

“No, I—” 

“The least you could have done was let me know, Yubin. We were dancing, and you were out of there like a bat out of hell. Like you couldn’t stand to be near me anymore.” 

“I—” 

“And the worst part is, you didn’t tell me where you were going or if you’d be home, so I was worried about you.” 

“My God, will you just let me fucking speak?” Yubin yells. And Yubin never yells, so to say that Yoohyeon is shaken is an understatement. “God, Yoohyeon. I left because you kissed me in the middle of a lesbian club.” 

Yoohyeon looks uncomfortable, and doesn’t say anything. Yubin stands up herself, gets closer to her. 

“You kissed me,” Yubin says. “So I ran.” 

“But  _ why _ ?” Yoohyeon says, loudly and obnoxiously. “I don’t get why you would run. We were in a club, it’s a different atmosphere, we were having fun. Why would you run and leave me there because I—” 

“Because I’m in love with you,” Yubin interjects. 

Yoohyeon’s mouth drops open, and if it wasn’t  _ this _ specific situation, Yubin is certain she’d burst out laughing because it’s comical. 

“I’m in love with you, so I ran. I felt my panic rise, and I didn’t want you to see that, because I know you were drunk and we were just having fun, and I didn’t want you to know. But you need to know, because this… I don’t deserve this, Yoohyeon. I don’t deserve you yelling at me or berating me.” 

Yoohyeon still doesn’t say anything, and it’s like she’s frozen. Yubin’s mildly concerned, but mostly hurt, so she lets the concern roll off her back. 

“I know this’ll probably ruin our friendship, because stuff like this usually ruins friendships, right? And I was fully prepared to continue living my life with you without you knowing my feelings, because I was comfortable that way. I’m used to that feeling, you know? The feeling that you’re too good for me, and that I’m happy just being your friend. I was content just being your friend, and being there for you any way I could be. I never planned on telling you, but then you kissed me and—” Yubin looks up at the ceiling, because she’s about to cry, and she’s trying to will the tears away. “And it was wrong. I couldn’t kiss you like it meant nothing because it meant  _ everything. _ You are everything.” 

“Yubin,” Yoohyeon whispers, after a long, drawn out moment of silence. Yubin finally risks a glance at her, sees her face tear-stained and red and puffy, and Yubin feels like shit because she made her beautiful best friend feel like that. Yoohyeon tentatively steps closer, grabbing Yubin’s hand and holding it in both of hers. “Yubin, God, don’t you know?” 

“Know what?” She feels her heart beat unsteadily in her chest, and she thinks it might be another panic attack rising up. 

“I’ve loved you for so long,” Yoohyeon says. “It didn’t just happen, and I don’t think I realized it until recently, but it’s been a long time. I just… I needed the push, you know? The liquid courage. And then that girl at the bar, that beautiful girl, bought you a drink and I realized… I’ve missed every single opportunity to tell you.” 

This is a dream. It has to be a dream, right? A fever dream. 

“Please say something,” Yoohyeon prods. 

Yubin is quite literally at a loss for words, which is something that doesn’t happen to her often. She may prefer to remain silent, but she always has choice words to say, but for once, she does not have a single thing to respond with. She just looks up at Yoohyeon, with her eyebrows knit together, no doubt showing all the confusion that Yubin is feeling. 

“I’m in love with you, too,” Yoohyeon says. 

“But  _ why _ ?” Yubin blurts. Yoohyeon looks affronted, so Yubin continues, “no, I genuinely don’t understand. I have you on this pedestal in my head, right? You’re this mythical being in my mind, and you always have been. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, you’re the person I think about at most moments of my life, and you’re the person I picture when I envision a future for myself.” She takes a deep breath, looks down, because she can’t handle looking at Yoohyeon anymore. “You’re smart, and you’re sociable, and you’re—fuck, Yoohyeon, you’re so beautiful that I can’t even look at you for too long because it literally makes my chest hurt. So I just don’t understand. Why me? Why not the Siyeon’s of the world?” 

“I don’t have any correct answers for you,” Yoohyeon says. “I could list out reasons that I love you, but they’re all surface level. Because you’re the person  _ I _ see when I think about my future, and you’re the one my mom loves, and you’re the one that I want to bring home on the holidays and share Christmas with. It’s always been you. I just—I never thought you felt the same about me. I needed to try to move on, but with my high school boyfriends, or Siyeon… they never quite fit, because I would have rather just stayed home with you and hang out on our couch than go out with anyone else.” 

Yubin still thinks this is some huge cosmological joke the universe is pulling on her. 

“Siyeon broke up with me because she was jealous of you. Not just because she was jealous of our friendship, Yubin. She knew. She could tell. She said it was obvious, and she hoped she was wrong, but she said she always knew. And that was when I thought it was okay to finally admit it to myself, because if someone else saw it, that means it must be true, right? But I just. I never had the courage to tell you.” 

Yubin laughs. “Bora… Bora wasn’t jealous of you, because her and I aren’t like that, but she told me recently that she thinks you’re in love with me. And you’ve only met, what, twice? She got all of that from a picture on Instagram.”

Yoohyeon’s cheeks get redder, if possible. 

“I don’t…” Yubin takes a breath. “I don’t want you to just tell me you’re in love with me if you’re not just so you won’t hurt my feelings,” she says, carefully. “Not to say that I think you’d do that, but you’re so sweet and I know the last thing you want to do  _ ever _ is hurt someone, so—” 

“Yubin.” 

“What?” 

“Shut up.” 

This kiss is wet, and Yoohyeon’s cheeks are wet from tears, and Yubin’s sure hers are too, but it feels a lot more right than the one in the club. A lot more genuine, something that Yubin has read about in books. 

* * *

They’re tentative with each other after, not sure what lines to cross as  _ something  _ more than friends. 

(Bora is absolutely elated when Yubin tells her, although a bit sad that they can’t hook up anymore. She says she’s going to be her new best friend, someone she can confide in. Yubin doesn’t say it, but she’s touched.) 

It’s still a slowburn, even after the fact. Even after they start going out on dates, and holding hands in public, and kissing on the street. 

Until one Saturday night, when Yubin comes home and finds the apartment dark. 

“Yoohyeon?” 

“In your room,” Yoohyeon calls, and when Yubin follows her voice, she almost stumbles. “Hi.” 

Yoohyeon is lying on Yubin’s bed in lingerie. Very, very beautiful lingerie. She looks exquisite, something out of Yubin’s fantasies, and she literally cannot believe that she’s real. She sheds her own jacket, smirking, and leans down to kiss Yoohyeon. 

The kiss is slow and hot, Yubin’s hands sliding up Yoohyeon’s bare sides and pressing into hip bones, while Yoohyeon works at getting the buttons of Yubin’s shirt undone. She’s happy she decided not to wear a bra today, because the intake of breath Yoohyeon gives her in response to seeing her bare underneath is satisfying. She shrugs off her shirt, shucking it to the floor, rolling over Yoohyeon so she’s underneath her. Yoohyeon’s legs bracket Yubin in, keeps her trapped. 

“I’ve been waiting for this,” Yoohyeon whispers. “For so long. I bought this specifically for you.” 

“You bought this for  _ this _ ?” Yubin asks, and she’s equally as emotional as she is turned on. Well, maybe not equally, because her libido just kicked in tenfold. “Fuck, Yoohyeon.” 

“Please touch me,” Yoohyeon says. 

Yubin gathers all of her willpower to push herself off of Yoohyeon and the bed, so she can undress. She keeps her panties on, but other than that, she’s completely naked. Her skin slides against Yoohyeon’s, and it’s delicious and feels  _ right. _

She presses a thigh between Yoohyeon’s legs, and the responding moan she receives cures every single bad thought that Yubin has ever had. It’s a noise she’d be happy to hear for the rest of her life. 

Yubin goes slow. Kissing down Yoohyeon’s jaw and neck, laving her tongue over her collarbones before dipping lower. Yoohyeon, bless her heart, is wearing a bra with a front clasp so one flick and it comes undone. Her nipples are a dusty peach and beautiful, and Yubin’s mouth wraps around one while her hand pinches and massages the other. Then she switches, and she keeps doing this until Yoohyeon’s hips are gyrating and moving uncontrollably against her leg. 

“Yubin, fuck, please,” Yoohyeon groans. 

She has mercy on her, moving lower. She kisses a line down her stomach before kissing Yoohyeon’s pubic bone. She takes the panties between her teeth and pulls them down her legs until they’re far enough that Yoohyeon can kick them off. 

“Please, come up here. I want to kiss you while you take me.”

“Fuck,” Yubin says, and surges up until their mouths meet. 

Yubin’s fingers skate down, down, down until she’s met with smooth skin and wetness. Yoohyeon is  _ this  _ wet for her, and it still feels like a dream, but the grip Yoohyeon has on her shoulders is enough to tell her that it’s not. That this is real, and that Yoohyeon is really under her, hips bucking up into her hand. 

She presses a finger inside, and when Yoohyeon manages a, “please,” Yubin adds another. She’s tight and wet and snug, and she feels perfect around her fingers, like she was literally  _ made  _ for Yubin.

When Yoohyeon comes, it’s better than Yubin can even imagine. They keep eye contact, not kissing, but looking at each other. 

“I love you,” Yoohyeon whispers after, her body shaking as she comes down from her orgasm. 

“I love you,” Yubin says back, and she does. She loves Yoohyeon so fucking much, it’s insane to her. 

Yoohyeon moves Yubin the way she wants her, with her straddling Yoohyeon’s hips, up toward her stomach. Her fingers find Yubin wet and needy, pressing fingers tight against her clit and causing Yubin to groan out, “Yoohyeon, fuck.” Yoohyeon seems to like that, seems to be intent on making Yubin come as fast as possible, moving her fingers down to gather wetness before bringing them back up to her clit and circling. Yubin’s hips move in time with Yoohyeon’s hand, and when Yoohyeon bites down on Yubin’s lower lip, Yubin comes. 

* * *

They lie together, and fall asleep together, and wake up together just to do it all over again. It’s a routine that Yubin thinks she could die happy with. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/blowthepiris)  
> [come talk to me about my writing here!](https://curiouscat.qa/blowthepiri)  
> *handong is the girl at the bar, btw.


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